Salad and Whole 30 Condiments

I went on a tear for two days making the stuff I needed to make this Whole 30 thing work. This is a trial run for us as the minute we get off the diet, instead of being able to bring things back, it will be a couple of days before Christmas. Yeah, like that's going to work. I'm not turning down a helping or two... or three of Mom's English trifle. Or stuffing. Or pie. With ice cream. Let alone stocking stuffers.
But what this will do is figure out what works and what doesn't. Then we can restart in January with a lot of the stuff made and knowing what works and what doesn't. So the very first night we had meatloaf and potatoes. Couldn't have butter on the potatoes and I hadn't bought ghee yet. Which, by the way is pretty gross. I mean the store bought stuff. Something was wrong with the flavor. Apparently homemade ghee is way better and tastes like butter on popcorn or so I have read. I bought butter but haven't attempted the ghee yet. Oh, and if you're a little confused, ghee is clarified butter used in Indian and Himalayan cooking. They cook it slowly in a double boiler until the water is cooked off becoming clarified butter, then keep cooking it slowly until the milk solids solidify, turn red and drop to the bottom. Then the ghee is poured through cheesecloth or a coffee filter removing the solids and the resultant clear liquid ghee tastes like butter but has a high flashpoint (won't burn like butter) and is very stable, meaning it can be stored at room temperature for up to a year.
But back to the meatloaf. Totally boring. It obviously didn't have ketchup (sugar and other ingredients), couldn't have bread crumbs, crackers, milk, cream, sour cream, cheese, sugar or any of the other possible ingredients. Just meat and an egg and... salt. Booo-oring. And did I mention no ketchup?
So the first condiment on my list was ketchup.

Paleo/Whole 30 Ketchup

Ingredients
¼ tsp garlic powder
small can tomato paste (5.5 fl oz.)
1 Tbsp prepared mustard
½ tsp cinnamon
⅛ tsp ground cloves
½ tsp sea salt
4 Tbsp apple cider vinegar
⅜ cup water

Directions
Add ingredients to measuring cup, mix thoroughly and pour into container and chill.

Easy Peasy. The end result was just OK. I used it on Shepherd's Pie tonight and it wasn't bad. Much better than the nasty Hcg Ketchup I tried a few years ago. That was nasty. This was... well, OK. It wasn't sweet like the typical Heinz stuff we normally buy but it was nice and savory. Better than the alternative which is nothing. I give it a B- for effort.

The next condiment was an unmitigated disaster. I tried to make homemade mayonnaise according to the directions several sites gave out. It never congealed and smelled funny and looked like someone threw up in my blender and then it separated. Blech!
So I gave up and went downstairs to consult the all-knowing, all-seeing oracle Google Chrome, and someone whom I will not name put away my ingredient so the couple of eggs I had assiduously been bringing to room temperature (apparently the mayo will not emulsify if the eggs are cold) were now as cold as Nanook of the North in January in his unheated outhouse. I cussed. A little. Okay, a lot. I gave up for the night.
The next day I took one of the eggs that I have left out overnight... (I wasn't too worried about this, my Grandpa used to store the eggs from our chickens on the farm in the wellhouse for several weeks sometimes and it got pretty hot in there in the summer and no one in my family ever got sick from eggs. They are pretty resilient inside the shell. Get a crack in the shell, or remove the egg from the shell and it's another matter) I took out one of the eggs and started making the mayo.

Whole 30 Mayo

Ingredients
1-2 cups light tasting olive oil or avocado oil (EVOO will overpower the mayo's flavor)
1 egg, room temperature
2 tsp lemon juice
½ tsp dry mustard
sea salt and ground black pepper to taste

Directions
Add egg, lemon juice, mustard, salt and pepper to blender. Pulse.
Very, very slowly drizzle the olive oil, a little at a time, in the top of the blender while pulsing.
Continue pulsing while drizzling the olive oil in until reaching the desired consistency. The more oil is slowly added in, the thicker the mayo gets. I used about a cup and a half before being satisfied with the thickness.
The mistake I made in Round 1 was that the directions said to blend on low and made no mention of adding the olive oil in after. I added the olive oil in with the egg and it refused to emulsify. The secret seems to be to add the oil in after and in little bits.
We had a little taste test and I will give this recipe a B+ for possibilities. I have not yet used the mayo in a recipe.

Next I made the ubiquitous Ranch Dressing:

Whole 30 Ranch Dressing

Ingredients
1-1½ cup extra light tasting olive oil or avocado oil (again, EVOO will overpower the dressing)
1 egg, room temperature
2 Tbsp red wine vinegar (I use a raspberry infused version I quite like)
½ tsp sea salt
½ tsp fresh ground black pepper
½ tsp onion powder
½ tsp garlic powder
½ tsp dill
½ tsp parsley
2 Tbsp coconut milk

Directions
Add egg, red wine vinegar, salt, pepper, onion and garlic powder, dill and parsley to blender.
Very, very slowly drizzle the olive oil, a little at a time, in the top of the blender while pulsing.
Continue pulsing while drizzling the olive oil in until reaching the desired consistency. The more oil is slowly added in, the thicker the dressing. Will more than fill a 500 ml container.

I will confess I am a picky salad eater. I've never been a big salad eater, and if I order a salad, I want a salad with body. My favorite is a Cobb Salad which usually has at least 3 meats, sliced turkey, roast beef, ham, sliced hard-boiled eggs, several different types of cheese slices or cubes, cucumber, scallions maybe, grape tomatoes, and so on. Now that's a salad!
I like either thick, hearty dressings like Ranch or Thousand Island over Cobb or similar salad or sweet concoctions like Poppy Seed Dressing over Baby Spinach, Arugula and sliced strawberries, or Caesar Dressing over Caesar Salad that has to have croutons, bacon and freshly grated Parmigiano-Reggiano. Not that smelly Kraft stuff that sometimes I make do over spaghetti, the stuff my kids call "Stinky Cheese" because they say it smells like wet diapers. Real Parmesan. Freshly grated.
I like a good Ranch dressing on all kinds of stuff, not just salad. I like to dip cucumber slices, carrots, celery and cauliflower in it. I dip my pizza crusts in it and sometimes if the moment takes me, the pizza itself. Chicken is great dipped in it. So this had to be good. I don't even like Kraft's Rancher's Choice all that much, however that's what I usually buy because the ones I like are twice that much and most of the time I'm cheap.
I ate this over green salad (mix of greens, little shredded carrot, grape tomatoes, cucumber slices and sliced scallions) tonight with the Whole 30 Ranch and LOVED it. It's better than Kraft. It's been awhile but I'd say it's better than some of the premium dressings like Hidden Valley. Wow! Nailed it. Give this one the gold medal. Raise the flag. Play the national anthem. Shed tears.
My sister liked it and even my mom, who hates the taste of Ranch said it's not bad (high praise indeed!).
Caveat: Both my nieces stuck their nose near it, took a big whiff and refused to try it. I've just written them out of my will.

Paleo/Whole 30 Caesar Salad Dressing

Ingredients

2 eggs

2 cloves garlic, minced

½ tsp sea salt
½ tsp fresh ground black pepper
1 Tbsp apple cider vinegar
Juice of 1 lemon, approx. 3 Tbsp
1 cup extra light tasting olive oil or avocado oil
½ tsp Dijon mustard
2 Tbsp coconut milk

Directions
Add eggs, garlic, salt, pepper, vinegar, lemon juice and mustard to blender and pulse.
Very slowly drizzle oil to mixture while pulsing until it emulsifies. Continue adding oil until reaching desired consistency. The more oil added, the thicker the dressing. Finally, add the coconut milk and pulse until mixture is completely blended together.

Had some Caesar Salad the other night and it was passable. No croutons, no bacon (rotten bacon bits from Costco has sugar in it) and no Parmesan cheese. Serious blah. Had some more Caesar Salad last night, this time with bacon (we fried up 3 lbs. of bacon and crumbled it up for recipes and salad). Pretty dang good. I'd give it a A-. Not quite as good as the regular salad, but pretty good.
My sister is not a fan of fish so I tried to convince her that a proper Caesar dressing needs anchovies or anchovy paste. She was very anti-anchovy so after I made the dressing, I split it in half and added anchovies to the second half. I was wrong. (Yeah, yeah give it a rest) The anchovy Caesar wasn't bad but not as good as the non-anchovy dressing.

Paleo Orange Poppy Seed Dressing

Ingredients
Juice and zest of one orange
¼ cup red wine vinegar
⅓ cup extra light tasting olive oil
1 medium shallot
1 Tbsp prepared mustard
2 tsp poppy seeds

Directions
Add ingredients in blender and pulse until well mixed.

Not a huge fan of this one. I prefer a sweet dressing with my poppy seeds but Mom loved this one.

Bon Appetit!

Best Spaghetti Sauce EVER!

Okay, it's been awhile since I posted. I was in Australia for a year and a half working for the Devil Global Conglomerate-Who-Must-Not-Be-Named. My boss got fired and the new guy drove me crazy until I got so sick I couldn't get out of bed for weeks. But I'm back.
The latest is my sister has gone on this Whole 30 kick. Basically it's an attempt to cut all the sugar, grains and dairy out of your diet so that your guts can heal. I've been doing a lot of reading on the subject and there are a lot of doctors who espouse that most of the ills we have are caused by an imbalance in our gut bacteria. There are two brains in our body: the one we think with, and the one that men... no, not that one! And one that directs the nutrition and healing of our bodies, that one in our gut. When it is out of balance the body can't handle things that happen like cancer, diabetes, Parkinson's disease, etc. Bring the gut bacteria into balance and suddenly the body is able to deal with these issues on its own, like it was programmed to.

I got a kombucha scoby from my Aunt Jan this summer and started to make my own kombucha. I will post something on this later. But this was my attempt to re-balance the bacteria in my own gut. I was a very slim 190 pounds when I got married. But I brought back a virulent strain of strep from Colorado with me and the first couple of years I was married I kept coming down with it. The doctors gave me course after course of antibiotics for 6 months straight to no avail. I begged them to take out my tonsils (believing that was the cause) and they refused. Finally my doctor told me they would have to take out my tonsils. 6 months later. I swore at him and stomped out of the office. My mom gave me a course of tissue salts and I got better finally. But I have noticed that every time I have gotten sick and required antibiotics, I gain 20 or 30 pounds soon after and then plateau until the next course of antibiotics. So I started drinking kefir in Australia but it wasn't enough. Even with drinking about 500 ml of homemade kombucha every day for 4 months doesn't seem to be fixing it.
So Barb convinced me to do the whole 30 things with mom and her. But it's very tough on a dyed-in-the-wool sugaraholic. I love sugar. My body craves anything it can turn into sugar. I have been on diets. I can give up meat. I can give up fat. But giving up carbs? After a couple of days I wake up in the middle of the night to find myself in the all-night Tim Horton's drive-thru trying to crawl through the teller window after some honey crullers.

Anyway, back to the Whole 30. The first day we had a breakfast of grated potato fried crispy in coconut oil with an egg cracked over it and cooked until its done. Fantastic, except no ketchup allowed (waaay too much sugar in it). Some fruit later. Then for supper I made Lemon Halibut and Hedgehogs. I sliced the potatoes very thinly without cutting all the way through and then drizzled ghee, EV olive oil, sea salt and ground pepper on them and baked them at 425°F for 45 minutes. Yum!

The next day I drizzled EVOO (extra virgin olive oil) over a chicken, rubbed in sea salt, ground black pepper, rosemary and thyme, splashed some lemon juice inside the chicken and baked it until it was crispy. We had chicken for lunch, then I pulled most of the meat off the chicken carcass for another meal and dumped rest of the chicken in a soup pot. I fried up some onions, garlic, more rosemary, salt and pepper. Covered the chicken with water, cut up some carrots and celery and let the soup simmer for a few hours. After a bit I cut up half a 5 pound bag of potatoes and dumped them in. That night we had chicken soup and veggies I strained out of the soup. Not bad but I remembered why I never like my mother-in-law's chicken soup. Kept picking bones out of my teeth. Yech.

So last night I decided if I'm going to subject myself to this Whole 30 thingy, I'm going to do it right. I went to the store and bought some stuff.
Today I made some Whole 30 ketchup. Not going to post the recipe as I haven't tried it out yet. Tastes OK poured on my finger, but needs something to dip in it for the real taste test.
Made some Orange Poppy Seed Dressing. Tasted just OK tonight on salad. Needs some serious sugar. Oh wait, right, can't have that...

Next I made some Caesar Dressing for later that night. Then tried to make mayonnaise. Epic fail. Didn't emulsify.
We decided we were going to have spaghetti for supper but Barb had to run to the north end of Edmonton for a hockey helmet she found on Kijiji. It's all on me.
I've never made spaghetti sauce before. I've adulterated hundreds of jars of store-bought stuff with oregano, basil and Italian seasoning, but never tried to make my own before. Wait, not true, a few years ago I made a batch of marinara to top my famous Chicken Parm but wasn't very impressed.
So I went online to see what other people were doing with both regular meaty marinara and Whole 30 spaghetti sauce. Got some ideas and this is what I came up with:

Best Spaghetti Sauce EVER. 

Ingredients 4 Tbsp EV olive oil
1½ pounds of lean ground beef
1 medium onion, chopped or minced
1 large carrot, diced (yeah I know, carrots in your spaghetti? Too wacky)
1 celery stalk, chopped
4 cloves garlic, crushed and minced
2 tsp red wine vinegar (I used a raspberry infused version, very nice)
½ cup apple juice
1 tsp oregano (normally would have used 2 tsp but Barb isn't a big fan of oregano)
2 tsp basil
1 tsp thyme
2 tsp Italian seasoning (check to ensure no sugar or corn starch, some brands a lot more than herbs in them)
1 Tbsp dried parsley
1 tsp crushed red pepper
2 tsp sea salt
1 tsp fresh ground black pepper
1 small can (5.5oz.) tomato paste
1 large can tomato sauce
1 can sliced mushrooms (or equivalent fresh)
Water as needed
4 cups packed fresh baby spinach leaves 

1 spaghetti squash or spaghetti noodles 

Directions Pour olive oil in high sided frying pan or dutch oven. Over medium heat, start ground beef browning in olive oil. Add onion, carrot, celery and garlic as you chop them. Add red wine vinegar and apple juice. Add spices and cook until beef is browned and onions translucent.
Add tomato sauce, tomato paste and mushrooms. Continue on medium heat until sauce is bubbling, then turn heat to low and simmer sauce for at least an hour. Add 1 cup of water at a time when the sauce gets overthick and stir in. The sauce will cook off liquid as it simmers and will need occasional infusion of water to keep from turning into a paste.
Cut spaghetti squash lengthwise into halves with large knife or cleaver. Remove seeds and guts with a ice cream scoop. Drizzle EVOO olive oil and sprinkle liberally with sea salt and fresh ground black pepper. Turn squash flesh side down in baking pan and pour water in pan to steam squash. Bake uncovered at 400°F for 60-75 minutes until outer rind can be easily pierced with a fork.
Scoop cooked squash flesh into serving bowl, it will easily break into strands similar to spaghetti noodles.
Ten minutes before serving, add baby spinach and stir into sauce.
Serve sauce over spaghetti squash or noodles. Enjoy!

I can't remember the last time I aced a recipe I made up the first time out this awesomely!

It is easily the best marinara/spaghetti sauce I have ever eaten. I'm not a fan of Olive Garden's marinara. Their meat sauce is just OK. My favorite is the meaty marinara sauce at Boston Pizza and this is better than that.

Mom cut up a couple of romaine hearts and added some chopped cucumbers and little green onions to it. Can't have croutons or freshly-grated Parmigiano Regannio on the Whole 30, and to make matters worse, I discovered that the bag of bacon bits from Costco has sugar as one of the top 3 ingredients. Really? Sugar in my bacon, say it ain't so Joe! But the Caesar Dressing I made up that afternoon was really good. Almost made up for missing bacon and Parmesan.

Paleo/Whole 30 Caesar Dressing

Ingredients

2 eggs

2 cloves garlic, minced

½ tsp sea salt

½ tsp fresh ground black pepper

1 Tbsp apple cider vinegar

Juice of 1 lemon

2 cups of light olive oil or avocado oil

Directions
I just threw it all in my blender and cranked it on high for 30 seconds. Done. Poured it into a bottle and served it over salad.

The kids were going to have regular spaghetti pasta with their sauce, so I figured I needed another vegetable. So I dug some asparagus out of the crisper. We had poached asparagus and julienne carrots the other night so I decided I wanted something different.

Sauteed Cashew Asparagus

Ingredients
1 bundle asparagus
3 Tbsp coconut oil
⅛ cup apple juice
splash of red wine vinegar
couple of handfuls of cashews

Directions
Bend the asparagus stems in half. The asparagus will snap at the start of the woody part of the stem. Set aside the top part and discard the woody stems.
Heat oil over medium heat and add cashews. Once the cashews are nicely browned, pour into bowl. Pour used coconut oil from cashews back into frying pan. Add juice and vinegar. Add asparagus and cook until al dente. Add cashews back, stir to mix and serve.


Whole 30 or no Whole 30, this might be one of the best meals I have eaten in a long time.